did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
