i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
