you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
