You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
