I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
