This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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