just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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