dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
