Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
