Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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