I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
