I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
