I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
