I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
