Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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