..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
