oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
