hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
