She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
barbara walters just said penis...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
