so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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