Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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(281): View more from Texas

Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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(914): View more from New York

The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.

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(949): View more from California

You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

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(407): View more from Florida

He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....

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