Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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