seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
40s are totally the cure
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
