had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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