summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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