You're completely useless in the revolution.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
