it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
