3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he shaved USA in his pubs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
