drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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