btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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