If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
