hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
