...so i touched it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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