you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
