Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
