glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize