The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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