I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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