I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
