According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
