I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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