I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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