The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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