it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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