what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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