we have officially lost it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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