Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
