if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize