Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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