I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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