Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
