dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
