I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
