She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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