I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
