so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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