Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
