I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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